mas de cultura mexicana

Guys in Merida

Throughout the four or so weeks we’ve spent in Merida, I have taken notice of many of the differences between ways men and women interact and the dating scene in Mexico opposed to the United States.  Over my four weeks, I have interacted with men while passing ways on the street and have even gone on a few dates with a guy.  I will start by describing my experiences on the street. 

Walking down the city streets it is common to hear guys whistling and beeping their horns at girls multiple times every day.  I was very uncomfortable with these calls initially, finding them disgusting and quite frustrating.  They are something I do not appreciate about Mexican life.  I am not saying that these cat calls or beeps do not occur in the United States, however they are much less common.  On Main Street you’ll get an occasional beep, but it is nothing compared to walking down a Merida street.  The worst for me was a night when I was in the city center walking (and wearing a dress) and must have gotten at least ten cat calls.  I even got two guys pulling over and trying to talk to me and see if I wanted a ride.  It was rather annoying.  It seems as though men here do not contain their immediate thoughts and speak or whistle impulsively without regard to how it may make women feel.  I suppose this could in part be related to Machismo in Mexico, and also realize that it is part of the culture (many people have tried to tell me this is a man’s way of complimenting or flattering you), yet I would probably say it is my least favorite thing about Mexico thus far.  As the time has passed, however, I have learned to just ignore the cat calls.  By not showing a reaction, the guys tend to not do anything further.  None the less, it is still annoying. 

One thing I’ve noticed about guys here is that they open doors more often than in the United States, especially car doors.  I observed this not through just my dates last week, but also on other nights when we would go out with Danielle’s host brother and his friends. All of they guys opened car doors for us, would pull out chairs for us in restaurants and clubs and in general were very chivalrous.  While nice guys do hold doors for girls in the United States, I feel like I have experienced it much more here.

Besides street interaction I was able to explore Mexican culture on a more personal level.  This occurred with my friend Daniel, who I met through Danielle’s host brother.  He is a very nice guy who showed immediate interest in me.  For my first Mexican date we went out to a restaurant called La Parilla.  It was a nice atmosphere with a band performing in the background.  I decided to order tacos de aranchera (basically composed of steak).  They were seasoned well and quite tasty.  Of course, as in most dates in the United States, Daniel insisted on paying.  I put down my appropriate amount of money on the table but he refused to let me pay. 

This date made me start to think about differences in dating customs here opposed to the United States.  According to my host parents and other sources, it is not uncommon for a girl to bring a group of girlfriends along on the first dates.  I sort of experienced this when I went out to play pool with Daniel and he picked up Dana, Cindy, and I to go and drove us home as well.  It was sad saying goodbye to Daniel last night, as I will probably never see him again.  It has been fun though and an interesting integration into Mexican life.  I can honestly say this is the most amount of flowers I have gotten from a boy ever, including my ex who I dated for a year.  It seemed really cheesy when I was given the four roses, as they were always pulled out of nowhere.  This experience was funny with my host parents as my host mom usually was at the door when Daniel would drop me off after a night out with our friends, and she was there when I got my first flower.  Of course the next morning at breakfast, we were all sitting at the kitchen table and she proceeded to tell my host father about the flowers.  It was funny and slightly awkward, but made for some good laughs as anytime I told my host mom I was going out for the evening she would ask, “Con Daniel?”, and the majority of the time I would respond, “No, solamente con mis amigas.”  It was a neat experience to hang out with Daniel in Merida because I believe he helped me to experience more of the culture.  He loves dancing and took my friends and I out dancing a few times.  He also made me two cds with Mexican music, which will be a neat memory.  In addition to this, he was a great person to practice my Spanish with as he knows some English but we only spoke in Spanish to one another.

How to eat a taco

A week or so ago, a Danielle, Cindy, Ash, and I went to a friend’s house for dinner and had tacos de puerco.  Our friends, who are locals, chuckled upon watching us eat the soft shell tacos.  When we asked why they told us that we were eating the food wrong.  They did not go into much explanation and we were able to laugh it off and forget about it.  Last night, however, I went out to dinner and was reminded again that I do not eat my tacos correctly, or at least not as the locals do.  According to my Mexican friends, soft shell tacos or other dishes in tortillas are not meant to be folded at the edge and should only be eaten with one hand.  Instead they are to be folded only once.  I explained that I, as well as most people I know, fold the tortilla at the end (in the same manner as a wrap sandwich at home) and eat it with two hands so none or at least less of the filling falls out.  To me, a usually messy eater, this technique made sense.  My friend, however, then proceeded to show me how it is customary to hold the tortilla which has been folded once only at one end, serving the same function.  I tried it and was amazed to find that I did not lose any meat.  Although I was kind of self-conscious when he initially pointed out my eating style, it was neat to gain this insight in the culture.  I have my doubts as to whether everyone here eats their filled tortillas in the same manner, yet I will definitely try to observe people eating.  Today at lunch, I made a fish taco and attempted to master the technique, hopefully to help me blend in a little more. 

Superbowl and Sports

Coming into the house of Sunday afternoon, the television in the kitchen was on and my host parents and two of their grown children were there with their wives.  They had snacks out and seemed to be just relaxing and watching television.  I was curious about what they were watching and was surprised to see it was the Superbowl game between the New York Giants and the New England Patriots.  I had completely forgotten about the game, something which never had happened to me before.  At home, I attend a Superbowl party every year or at least attend a small gathering to cheer on the teams.  Although not a diehard fan, I always a general sense of what was going on and when.  The fact that I had forgotten about the game completely, something which I see as an important part of American culture, stirred up mixed emotions in me.   I was glad to find that I have immersed myself in the culture of Merida and besides for occasional phone calls with family members or exchanges of emails regarding every day happenings of my closest family members, I have managed to focus solely on this trip; yet for the first time I felt really out of touch with home.  I get to talk to my family pretty frequently via email and some phone calls, but for some reason this small feeling of disconnect with American culture made me feel a little homesick.  This feeling passed soon though. 

On the subject of the Superbowl, an American game, and my surprise that my host family was watching it, I will also mention that I have noticed that many Mexicans take great interest in being aware of the United States and its news.  This is seen in the ability of our host parents to debate with Emily about politics as well as certain discussion topics talked about with our Spanish teacher Francisco back when we were taking Spanish classes at CIS. 

Soccer

Although I know that girls in Mexico play soccer, as evidenced by the Mexican Women’s National Team, I was still pretty surprised to find that I have not seen a single girl playing soccer in the month I’ve been here in Mexico.  At least three times I have gone with Phil and Aakash to play pick up games of soccer at a park in Prado Norte and not once has there been a girl.  Neither have I seen any girls playing during the day when youth teams practice at a sports complex that my bus route passes.  Based on this observation of there not being many or any girls playing soccer, for the first time in my life, I felt really nervous about being a girl playing soccer when we played at the park.  At home, I never have a problem playing with the boys as I am competitive and enjoy athletic challenges.  Here, however, I sort of felt intimidated by the guys, feeling as though they were thinking, “What is she doing here?”.  Once I started playing, however, everything was fine and I realized that perhaps I was reading a little too much into the body language of the guys at the basketball court (yes we played on a basketball court fashioned with small goals) for pickup games.  On the subject of soccer, I find it really interesting that most soccer games are played late at night.  I have seen many

Weather UV

After spending a day in the sun at any one of our many visits to Mayan ruins, I have returned home exhausted.  Upon entering the house, my host mom always laughed at me realizing how tired I was and ordered me to descansar (rest).  Multiple times she pointed out the obvious fact that we are not accustomed to the heat found in this type of environment.  For the Mexicans this is winter and cooler weather.  While there are some people in shorts and tanktops, it is more common to see people wearing jeans or long pants.  I recall an evening on the beach at Progreso where some of the locals were shivering and complaining saying “Hace frio.”  I was in just a tank top and a skirt and was not cold at all (compared to cold Reading, Pennsylvania winter weather, what is considered cool weather here is glorious).  For us, especially those of us from Pennsylvania, we are not accustomed to this heat but also the UV concentration which is a lot higher here than at home.  Being that I have some Cuban blood, I tend not to burn very often, yet here I have found myself with some slight sunburn already suggesting the intensity of the UV rays.  I made sure to buy some extra suntan lotion for protection and have willingly adapted to the post-lunch siestas (naps).  I can already feel the weather warming up and am glad that this trip will not keep us in Mexico during the brutal summer months.

Corn

Corn, maize, or maiz en Español, is a critical part of Mexican society.  It is important in tortilla making.    Corn is seen everywhere from street corner tortillerias (tortillas were basically served with every meal in my home stay and at every meal out in restaurants), artwork (as seen in the Palacio de Gobierno, as will be described in another blog), in music, and even in ice cream!  I thought corn ice cream would be disgusting and prepped myself for the worst when my host mom served it to me, yet it was delicious.  It was extremely refreshing!  The thing I did not like about it were the actual whole corn kernels found in it.  Nonetheless, it was tasty.  We ate it with helado de coco, or coconut ice cream.  Coconut is served a lot more here as well compared to at home (palm trees grow here and not in Pennsylvania).  I had a coconut at Progreso as well, in the form of a coconut dessert and coconut milk.  Corn is seen in music in the song called Mas Maiz by N.O.R.E.  I doubt that this song is trying to indicate the importance of corn to the Mexicans, yet it is something of interest to me while on the subject of corn.  To be honest I don’t know details about corn importance in the United States nor how much money is associated with this crop, yet I doubt it plays anywhere near the same role as it does in Mexico.  Corn was one of the sustaining crops of the Maya which has withstood the trials of time and is still going strong in Mexican culture today, making it an especially interesting plant. 

Carnaval de los Marvillos

When I was in high school my family hosted a German exchange student.  During her stay she told us a little bit about something called Carnaval, a pre-Lent celebration which she attends.  Although Mexico and Germany are quite different countries I was ecstatic to hear that we would be in Merida for the celebration.  

Carnaval events last from Thursday to the Tuesday before Ash Wednesday.  On the Wednesday before Ash Wednesday, preCarnaval events began with a concert by the band Nigga.  They put on a great show and played the song “Baby te quiero”, a very popular song which we have deemed the song of this trip.  On Saturday night we attended the festivities.  The entire Paseo de Montejo was shut down and the sides were lined with vendors and tents selling food and drinks.  The center part of the street had bleachers so people could sit down.  One cultural difference that I observed at Carnaval was that people threw food, trash, and cans on the ground when they were finished with them.  This seemed outrageous to me.  I couldn’t imagine throwing my trash on the floor and waiting for someone else to pick it up.  Surprisingly, by the next morning, all trash was completely cleaned up, suggesting that many people contributed to the cleaning process.  The buses were ridiculously crowded forcing us to stand on many occasions.  The most common vendor that I saw at Carnaval was Marquesita vendors.  Marquesitas are  describe trash bothered me stages many different concerns buses For this Lenten season I decided to give up Coca Cola and other soft drinks because I have drank more soda here in Merida than I have in a long time. 

Palacio de Gobierno 

One day in culture class we visited the Palacio de Gobierno, a building which serves both administrative and artistic functions.  I was quite intrigued with the artwork on both the first and second floors, but especially the second floor.  This artwork was especially interesting because it was beautiful yet really sad as it showed the many scenes from the Conquest.  Examples include

What was really sad was seeing how the Mayan people were taken advantage of  losing there land and being subjugated.

Art Museum

Mayec Art Museum was a contemporary art museum.  It surprised me that it was not very different than any museum I’ve seen in the United States.  As a whole, I was not a fan.  I felt like a lot of the artists on display had artwork which was very repetitive.  The museum was much like museums I had been to before, with the exception of a there being

Market

Thursday we left the state of Yucatan and ventured out to the city Campeche in the state Campeche.  Before departing for the excursion, Hugo, our tour guide, explained to me that Campeche resembles Cuban cities.  As my father is from Cuba, I found this to be very interesting and was excited to see it for myself. 

Before entering the city itself, we visited an Anthropological Museum and stopped at La Parilla to eat lunch.  At the restaurant we ate some interesting Mexican food.  My favorite was the bistec, or slab of delicious steak that was cooked up for me.  I was not a fan of the empanadas de pollo, although I generally enjoy them at other locations.  Upon leaving the restaurant we encountered bus problems and another bus was ordered to take us home at the end of the trip.  As a result of the bus issues, we had to all cram into a local bus to enter the city.  The city was quaint with colorful houses and buildings.  The atmosphere was more laid back than that of the larger city of Merida with everyone moving a little slower and seeming more tranquil. 

Around the main plaza, things were more touristy, as observed in the more expensive items in the stores and greater selection of goods reading ‘Mexico’, Campeche, etc.  In Campeche we visited the marketplace and I was thoroughly disgusted.  There was a lot of trash on the floor and in one aisle there was blood and guts!  After returning home, I was describing my day to a friend and told him we visited the market at Campeche.  His reaction was “¡Feo, feo, feísimo!”  Apparently it is common knowledge how gross the market place in Campeche is.

Despite my shear disgust with Campeche’s market, I decided to give the market scene another try and visited the market at Merida.  It was a really exciting experience.  I took the bus and got off at the center, not really sure where to go from there.  My host mom suggested just asking, “¿Donde está el Mercado grande donde se venden pollos y flores?”.  I took her advice and did just this.  Alter talking with a few people I was eventually pointed in the correct direction.  I arrived at the market and was amazed by its shear size.  There was everything and anything one could want or need there.  It was just a matter of searching, however, as there did not appear to be any type of organization of the various sections.  Some of the things that I saw included…  It made me really sad to see

            For me, I believe a lot of this trip thus far has been not just getting accustomed to another culture, but as well as learning about city life in general.  I live in the suburbs at home, and so never really experience much city time.